Archive for the 'blogworld' Category

15
Feb
09

Objects in mirror

The struggle to find the answer to what appears so simple a thing is maddening, is apparently deceiving, like gashes vs. paper cuts, the paper cut is the most painful during the slicing.  Like writing in a journal vs. blogging, keeping the thoughts private vs. public, receiving answers from the air vs. receiving comments from people, receiving comments vs. no comments, participating in active relationships vs. passive relationships.

 

I regularly visit two blogs, about the same age, that are authored by really hot writers.

 

One blog is so popular that it’s come down to a god-and-worshipper relationship.  The choice to the reader is clear:  you can go to that site and bow down in the form of commenting if you like, or you can suck up the writing and leave.  Either way, it makes no nevermind to the writer.

 

The other blog offers the same powerful writing, but powerful in a softer way.  This blog receives no comments, for the most part, and if you leave a comment you will not receive any form of acknowledgement.  So you visit, suck up the writing and leave.

 

The lack of interactive relationship certainly does make things easier for everyone, certainly makes not making a wrong turn all but guaranteed.

 

I once had a burgeoning relationship with a fellow blogger a couple of years ago.  We were of like mind, astrological sign, and writing ability.  We were on a roll before the wrong turn.  And I can almost see, or I think I can anyway, the point in time where I made a choice that ruined the flow. 

 

It was like being in an emergency situation where everything appears to go into slow motion, as if on the brain’s behalf, so that it can register the severity, can know exactly what needs to be done, and can line out and drive each of the steps the body needs to take.  It was like that in slowness, but not in right choices.  Apparently. 

 

It seemed the seemingly simple thing of choosing not to respond to a comment right away, to wait until the end of a business trip.  I guess three and a half days was too long, if a very final-feeling silence is any indication.

 

It’s almost as bad as in-person relationships and wrong turns.  Whether fast or slow turns like the one now, where a state of lack did slowly, like a death march, lead to lack of caring, which in turn is leading to the question of continuing, which, if “No” is the answer, will be easier to discontinue with less caring present.

 

It all seems like it could be black and white and simple, and truly it is when you’re on the outside looking in.  But from the inside looking out there’s a color clash, too many colors, too complicated.

 

 

 

Chill out

Whatcha yelling for?

Lay back it’s all been done before

And if you could only let it be, you would see

 

“Complicated” Avril Lavigne

 

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